Lisa Brower on the lesbian thing: “Having had at least a decade of dick behind me (sometimes literally), I wanted to know if the pasture was any greener than the straight side of the field. It wasn’t.”
Raise your hand if you’ve ever survived a difficult relationship with a man and decided life surely must be better on the opposite side of the fence. I don’t know if gay men go through that thought process, but everyone of my girlfriends has said it at least once jokingly after a horrendous breakup.
Being a literal sort of girl, I decided to go see if that pasture was any greener than the straight side of the field.
I decide to pole vault into girl-on-girl world in the summer of 1988. Having had at least a decade of dick behind me (sometimes literally), I noticed my lesbian friends seemed to be having a hell of a lot more fun than I was. I had already slept with women in college, so that so called taboo was out of the way.
Luckily I had my own personal guide to lesbian Atlanta to help ease the transition. She would show up at work on Mondays with blackened eyes and enormous hickeys from her weekend romps, sharing her adventures with our co-workers during smoke breaks. Her pickups showered her with attention; sending flowers, taking her to lunch, giving her rent money. There was an endless line up of older gay women in expensive cars spoiling her rotten and that looked like exactly what I needed too. At that point in my life I had financially and emotionally supported an ever changing line up of would be rock stars, so a sugar mama sounded like a dream come true.
I started hitting up the gay bars with her on weekends. I chopped off my hair into a cute, shaggy little cut and found freedom in a cosmetic free face. I added some polo shirts and flat shoes to my wardrobe. I danced my Doc Martin shod feet off to “I Just Want To Be Your Lover Girl” at the Sports Page and Talluleh’s.
Today was number five in the series of six Fraxel treatments in my mission to lead a wrinkle-free life.
Unfortunately I forgot to apply my lidocaine ointment an hour before because I was in a huge tearing hurry to go purchase “True Blood-Season One”, so that I could spend some quality recuperation time with Alexander Skarsgard this afternoon.
So I had to go this treatment sans numbing ointment which hurts like burning hell. Just tap your face with a live wire about sixty times or so. Make sure you get into the hairline too, so that you have that burning flesh and hair smell.
We didn’t use as high a setting today as treatment number 4, so do note the lack of open, blood oozing wounds showing today. I mentioned to her that I was down for over a week with the last treatment, even after three weeks I still had the pixilated stamp effect known as the Mark of the Fraxel. It looks like someone had taken a hot poker or a car lighter and stamped all over me, plus it hurt like hell for days. However, I really noticed the difference after treatment four also. I had planned on getting some more Radiesse shot into my marionette lines since I looked so saggy in the last Fraxel series picture, but I saw a tremendous amount of tightening in my lower face area once the redness had gone away. Let me show you a side by side analysis, and tell me what you think: Read the rest of this entry »
Have you slept with more people than the average for your age?
There’s a very interesting character named Matthew Inman, who’s sort of a Renaissance Geek. He’s a powerhouse in online marketing, but he also has a goofy side. He’s created all kinds of funny and charming things, including an online dating site called Mingle 2. There’s a blog on it that contains many amusing diversions. The first one I found was a quiz calledHow Sexually Experienced Are You? Turns out I’ve slept with 7 more people than the average person my age. Is that all? Psssshhhhhht. And I thought I was a wild one.
Here are some of my favorite demographic highlights from the accumulated stats:
San Francisco is the most promiscuous city in the U.S., with an average of 13 sexual partners.
Hmmm, I wonder why that is?
St. Louis is right behind it with an average of 12 sexual partners.
Seriously? Do you think it’s all that Bud?
Provo, Utah is the least promiscuous city, with only 3 sex partners per person.
That’s an average of 1 for women and 5 for men, a la Big Love.
Troy, New York is next with only 4.
My husband grew up there. It’s a boner killer if ever there was one.
Janet Cunliffe of Burnley, UK spent around $15,000 for enough plastic surgery and cash-n-carry hair, not to mention sleazy clothing, to look like her daughter.
Who in turn looks like a cheap drag version of Paris Hilton. And let me add a very amateur version. No real drag queen would leave the house looking like this or she would face serious ridicule.
I grew up and lived with some pretty fabulous drag queens in Atlanta. If it weren’t for drag queens and gay men I would know nothing about life, love, and the pursuit of the perfect concealer.
If women can have a fake disease named after an HBO show, does that mean guys suffer from “Entourage Syndrome?”
This morning while listening to the “Today” show, they mentioned “Sex and the City Syndrome”, which is where groups of women go out, get drunk, talk shit, and hopefully engage in sex with inappropriate strangers.
My entire late teens through twenties can be summed up by a fake disease named after an HBO show? Yes, and some of my thirties too dammit. I was a late bloomer into adulthood.
Didn’t everyone do this? So what do guys have, “Entourage Syndrome”?
