Mike Alvear’s Urge & Merge

And Elliot Spitzer,  John Edwards and Bill Clinton.

We can’t understand why these guys handled the aftermath of their affairs with such monumental stupidity,  but inject us with truth serum, banish the women and you’ll get a rather inconvenient truth:  We understand why they did it.

We understand the aching, overwhelming desire to shtuup the new girl at the office (or the new guy at the gym).

We know that having sex outside the relationship doesn’t mean we don’t love our spouses.

We know there isn’t some deficiency in our spouses that drives us into the arms of strangers.

We understand the Marc Sanfords of the world because we’ve either done what they’ve done, are currently doing it or hoping to do it.

And it isn’t because we’re bored, depressed, unhappy, not being treated right at home, going through a mid-life crisis, looking for adventure, need validation or…

Wait, wait, here’s my favorite:  Because we have a fear of intimacy.

Bull.  That’s what people (especially women) say to themselves so that they don’t have to face the ugly truth:  Men are not meant to be monogamous.  We are beat into monogamy by unreasonable moral codes.  And much to the dismay of society, temporarily beating something into submission doesn’t change the nature of what you’re beating.

The reason most people (and by that, I mean women) can’t understand why so many men would risk their relationship and careers for sex is that

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When it comes to love and sex, guys have so many problems with the truth they should have business cards that read, “Professional Liar.”

Take a look at any city magazine’s “Most Eligible Bachelor & Bachelorette” feature and you’ll see what I mean.  Here’s a typical answer a guy gave in a section called, “What I look for in a woman:”

“Someone with a good sense of humor who likes to have fun, is confident in who they are, likes to travel, and is honest and goal-oriented.”

Oh, Please.  Ireland’s pastures long for that kind of manure.   We men are visually-oriented sexcentrics, yet we will never, if asked what we look for in a mate, say what we really want: Read the rest of this entry »