Is it enough? I think so. Especially the community labor aspect (as opposed to ‘community service.’ The judge didn’t want Brown mentoring young kids).
At the risk of blaming the victim, I have to voice a bit of collective anger about Rihanna’s decision to go back to Chris Brown, or as I like to call him, “Rapper-Batterer Chris Brown.” Yet, every time anger rises, sympathy follows, partially blocking the righteous rays of indignation.
Take one look at the fact/sympathy/anger matrix and you’ll see what I mean:
Fact: Rihanna took him back even though she needs facial reconstruction surgery.
Anger: She’s teaching a generation of women that the proper response to getting the crap beat out of you is to go back for more. All in the name of love.
How are we supposed to curb violence against women if the violated women ENDORSE the violence? (btw, if you like a little absurdity to go with your anger, click here to see Rihanna’s full page Cover Girl ad with the headline, “Lighten Your Eyes.” Great. A Cover Girl who has to cover her face).
Sympathy: She’s got trusted friends who are telling her the wrong thing. “It’s no problem,” said close family friend Sharon Bellamy-Thompson, a Barbados fish-market operator, to US magazine. “I have had boyfriends who beat me and then I took them back. I stayed with them because I was in love.”
The Rapper-Batterer’s mom Joyce Hawkins has been no help, lobbying for them to get back together. HIS MOM! Shouldn’t she bet the first to tell Brown, “Don’t even think about getting back together until you’ve gotten help”?
And worse, at a February 13, 2009 taping for VH1′s Storytellers, Kanye West asked the audience, “Can’t we give Chris a break?”
No, Kanye, we can’t. Not until he publicly apologizes, says, “I was wrong and I’m getting help to make sure it never happens again.”
. . .
Fact: She took him back in a matter of weeks. Read the rest of this entry »
Here’s what Chris Brown was thinking
The Wheel of Violence (showing the path toward domestic abuse)
If Chris Brown is anything like most batterers, his thought process was something like this: “I told her not to do it. She knew what would happen if she did. She did it. What choice did I have?”
She knew what was coming. She deserved it.
If Brown’s anything like the 40% to 70% of batterers who were themselves beaten as children or witnessed physical violence as a way to keep people in line, he doesn’t even understand that he did something wrong.
That’s how we solved problems where I come from.
If he’s anything like most batterers, Brown did what he did to exert control. Is he not the man in the relationship? The one who sets the rules? The one who enforces them? And what does a man do when the woman he loves won’t follow the rules? He takes the law into his own hands.
She broke the rules. She has to pay.
Maybe Rihanna didn’t break a rule or cross a line. Maybe she simply wouldn’t listen, let alone agree, to a rule he wanted to set.
That’ll get her attention.
If Brown is like most batterers, he needed to show Rihanna who’s boss, because there can only be one person calling the shots, especially when it comes to Fill in the Blank.
I had to take control.
If he’s anything like most batterers, Brown wanted to teach Rihanna a lesson or get revenge for some slight or wrong, real or imagined.
She’s gotta pay for her mistakes.
If he’s anything like most batterers, Brown figured that physical violence or the threat of it would frighten Rihanna into doing what he wanted.
She’ll think twice before she crosses me again.
If Brown is like most batterers, he might have been desperate about keeping his woman. And when the only tool you’ve got is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
I’ll scare her into staying.
And if he’s anything like Ike Turner, Chris Brown probably diminished what he did by saying it wasn’t that bad. In his 2001 autobiography Ike Turner wrote: “Sure, I’ve slapped Tina … There have been times when I punched her to the ground without thinking. But I never beat her.”
Rihanna, Tina and millions of women.
They all deserved it.
Click here to see “The Wheel of Violence,” which shows how abuse starts with put-downs, leads to threats and ends with emergency calls to the police.
Click here to see Rihanna’s full page Cover Girl with the headline, Light Up Your Eyes
If you or someone you love is in a violent relationship call the National toll-free Domestic Violence hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or go to their website. http://www.ncdsv.org
