Mike Alvear's Urge & Merge

Sometimes I wonder how the framers of the Constitution would react to Maine’s vote this Tuesday on whether gay people should keep their right to marry.

I’m pretty sure Jefferson would weep.

And the others would share his hankie. For this must be the founding father’s nightmare: Seeing one group of Americans go into the voting booth to take away the rights of another.

This Tuesday, Maine citizens will vote on whether gay people should retain the right to marry as per a state law that currently allows them to do so. The last poll shows that people who want to take away that right are winning 51-47. That’s still within the margin of error, but at this point it doesn’t look good. The fat lady ain’t sung, but she’s clearing her voice.

Frankly, I don’t know which would be worse–voting to repeal or uphold the state law allowing gay marriage. No matter which way you vote, you’ve wiped your feet on the Constitution.

There is only one thing worse than voting to deny somebody their rights: Voting to give it to them. Because the very idea that you have the power to grant or deny somebody the rights you enjoy negates the ideal of the Constitution–that all men are created equal. (Women, too, but let’s not quibble).

How can I be equal to you if you get to vote on my relationship? How can you be equal to me if I have the power to set the government against you? No matter what side you’re on, no matter what the result of the final tally, voting is the enemy of equality.

As Maine voters hover in the voting booth reading the Proposal that will affect the lives of millions of their fellow citizens, I wonder if it will occur to any of them to think: “I shouldn’t have the right to vote on somebody else’s rights.”

I’m gay and not sold on gay marriage

Where does gay marriage rank in the top ten reasons why heterosexuals divorce?

Maine legalized same sex marriage this past June but The fRight Wing managed to put it on the ballot for this November. Here’s how the tv wars are going:

The commercials from The fRight Wing do not state the case for why same sex marriage is “wrong,” as you’d expect them to do. Instead, they completely focus on the charge that gay marriage is being “taught” to small school children. As if it were part of the curriculum. Apparently, there’s some book in some part of a small library that describes the many ways families come together, including same sex marriages.

It’s as if the fRight has admitted that gay marriage has no effect on the “sanctity of traditional marriage” and instead, wants Mainers to believe that Re-education Camps for little children are spreading everywhere.

Fear and smear tactics aside, the focus on gayducating children is actually good news because it means The fRight recognizes they’ve lost the central premise of their argument –that equality in marriage harms the institution. Debating experts like to say that you should always argue the facts if the facts are on your side. Well, they’re not arguing facts.

They say argue the law if the law’s on your side. The fRight’s not arguing the law, either.

And they say if neither the facts or the law is on your side, then pound the table. They’re pounding the chairs. Even the table got away from them.

On the other side, marriage equality proponents have shrewdly taken up the family values mantle. It’s no longer about fairness and equality, but about preserving the family unit and protecting children. Here, take a look:

Still, you can lose the debate and still win the vote (George W. vs Al Gore anybody?). In fact, the fRight is winning 48% to 46% according to the latest survey. Pointing out that truth and love rarely beat fear and ignorance on a level playing field. No one dares count their chickens when the eggs are this close. The fRight may be on an intellectual retreat, but that doesn’t mean they can’t still win the battles ahead.

How gay marriage strengthens straight marriage

I’m gay and not sold on gay marriage

Where does gay marriage rank in the top ten reasons why heterosexuals divorce?

Click here for an explosively emotional site that helps conservative parents come to terms with their gay children

We’re losing in the polls. Will it be a repeat of California’s scenario– Laws allowing gay marriage overturned by the voters? Here’s the breakdown of the latest poll.

To interpret, note that a yes vote takes away the right of same-sex couples to marry. A no vote keeps the right of same-sex couples to marry. The poll asked if the election were held today would you vote YES or NO?

The result:

48% Yes
46% No

Click here for the rest of the poll results on the Maine’s gay marriage ballot initiative.

I love the Daily Kos write-up on the poll: “The forces of bigotry have a 2-point lead, but it’s within the margin of error. This thing is statistically tied. It’s a toss-up. It’s a battle between the side who can best bring out its supporters to the polls. And it’s a battle to persuade that tiny percent of undecideds to vote for equality. In fact, millions will be spent by both sides to bring that 6 percent home.”

No on 1.

My daughter Mary Lou (my phantom name for her) came out at age fourteen, ten years ago. I can’t say I was totally surprised after years of her tearing the heads and couture off my vintage Barbie dolls instead favoring WWF wrestlers and Ninja turtles figurines as well as her collection of Matchbox cars. She also refused to wear dresses and any shoe other than Converse high tops to the Symphony, Opera or even my wedding to Number 2 in which she was the flower girl. She was the only girl on the flag football team, the only girl playing point guard on the Church basketball team and plays a mean slide guitar. Before and since the defining moment, I’ve always been and always will be her biggest supporter. I took her to hundreds of Youth Pride meetings and marched proudly carrying my PFLAG banner at the Atlanta Gay Pride Parade. She graduated from one of the top business schools in the country Magna Cum Laude a year ago and has a fabulous job in the financial services industry. Oh and I forgot to mention she is tall, blonde and looks like a supermodel. She’s my love, my heart, and my pride and joy.

Mary Lou has had two serious relationships. Her first a wonderful Latino artist type Lola (also not her name) I still adore to this day and hate that their relationship ended so badly. Lola, I hope you and Mary Lou will connect in the future because you were so special in her finding herself as a lesbian. Her current girlfriend just graduated from a prominent Woman’s College and is heading to law school. They have been together for two years. Whether they end up together long term or not, I know that my daughter wants to live the life that all Americans long for. This means building a life with a loving partner afforded the same rights and privileges as any straight married couple. It means having children who are shown acceptance in their schools, living in neighborhoods akin to those of their straight counterparts. It means freedom from any form of discrimination against those that live the gay lifestyle.

My gay friends who are parents are devoted and nurturing to their children and live their lives indistinguishable from those of their straight neighbors. They are loyal to their mates, monogamous, devoted partners, honor and abide by the law, and are committed to making their neighborhoods and communities safer being the first to volunteer on boards and charities.

This whole idea that marriage is an institution between one man and one woman is ridiculous and antiquated considering that over 50% of traditional marriages end in divorce. Who gets to decide this? This is more an expression of prejudice than a real argument to deny gays basic human rights.

Why do I care about this for my daughter, her potential wife and my grandchildren? Read the rest of this entry »

The new ABC News/Washington Post national survey:

49% Support Gay Marriage
46% Don’t Support

May 2nd, 2009 at 10:33 am
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