Mike Alvear's Urge & Merge

Stephen Colbert put out an anti-gay marriage video in response to the one put out by the conservative “Nation of Marriage.” It does more to promote gay marriage than any serious, earnest, just-the-facts counter-attack ever could. See what I mean:

“Rights should not be stifled by fear and silence should not be a response to injustice.”

Harvey Milk could charm a banana out of a gorilla’s hands. God Himself cocked his ear whenever he made a speech. And clearly, few politicians sacrificed more for their cause.

A lot of gay folks have been waiting for Harvey to come back in another form. But really, who’d have thought that the next Harvey Milk would be straight?

Or black?

Or blind?

Just like a lot of African-Americans think of Barack Obama as the Next Great Leader after Martin Luther King, my guess is that if New York governor David Paterson keeps up the fight for New York gay marriage, a lot of gay folks are going to see him as Harvey Milk 2.0.

Sure, there have been others that have come close, notably Gavin Newsome, the mayor of San Francisco, and Bill Clinton. Yes, BILL CLINTON (click here to see why he’ll be remembered as a gay civil rights pioneer).

Which reminds me, why is it that the most iconic gay civil rights figures since Milk are straight? Can you imagine feminists trumpeting some male politician as the next Susan B. Anthony?

At any rate, Read the rest of this entry »

If I ever have children, the person I would want to be the guardian of those children should anything happen to me (and my children’s father) is one of my closest friends – who is also a gay man. He wants very much to have the right to marry, and although I would support this desire in any circumstance, I find myself becoming VERY emotionally invested in this for partly selfish reasons.

This is the man I would trust to raise my children above anyone else. I love my family and my other good friends, but he is the person in my life whose values align the closest with mine, not to mention being the most responsible person I know. From my perspective, it is in my interests (and the interests of any kids I may have) for him to be able to form a stable long-term relationship and to marry – with all the legal benefits associated with that institution.

How gay marriage strengthens straight marriage

I’m gay and not sold on gay marriage

Where does gay marriage rank in the top ten reasons why heterosexuals divorce?

Click here for an explosively emotional site that helps conservative parents come to terms with their gay children

As outrageous as it may sound, heterosexual families will become stronger and stronger as more states follow the New York gay marriage proposal, Iowa’s gay marriage ruling and Vermont’s veto override. Gay marriage will reduce the number of divorces caused by fraudulent marriages, ensure that more orphaned children grow up in stable homes, raise the standard of living for children with gay parents, make neighborhoods safer for families, and boost the economies of struggling communities.

It’s not the license to marry that will create these benefits; it’s the massive shift in attitude that’ll result from it. The more gays are accepted as equal citizens the more stable heterosexual marriage will become. Why? Because there are an untold number of “traditional” marriages that break up because one of the spouses comes out.

Homophobia drives fearful gay men and women into fraudulent marriages. The pressure to conform, the weight of discrimination, the potential loss of cherished dreams (serving in the military, worshipping in church, getting job promotions, raising kids) propels many into marriages they otherwise wouldn’t commit to. Like my friend Cooper.

Cooper is 64 and recently divorced. He was married for 38 years before he came out. He left behind him a woman whose life was shattered by a truth that tunneled its way out of the mounds of shame, hostility and hatred that society heaped on it. The woman is 62. What is she supposed to with her life now the he’s found his?

Homophobia has a way of wounding gay and straight alike. It creates two classes of victims: People who are forced to lie and the people they lie to. As homophobia decreases, so will the pressure for gays and lesbians to enter into fig leaf marriages. Which in turn, prevents children from being hurt by divorce and helps heterosexuals, like Cooper’s wife, create authentic, stable marriages.

Homophobia punishes heterosexuals, too. For every gay man and woman that gets punished by the legal system there are straight mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters who suffer with them.

According to my calculations (see box below), 57.6 million people are either directly or indirectly affected by homophobia. Since demographers believe there are only about 6.4 million self-identified gay people, that means 89% of the people affected by discrimination against gays are heterosexual.

No matter how they feel about homosexuality, no parent wants to see their children hurt, no brother wants to see his sister in danger, no uncle wants to see his nephew suffer. One of the intangible costs of homophobia is the excruciating emotional pain felt by everyone related to the gay family member. Lessen homophobia, as gay marriage will, and you lessen the strain on millions of families.

Estimated Numbers:
6.4 million gays and lesbians
6.4 million siblings of gays and lesbians (assuming each gay person has one sibling)
12.8 million parents of gays and lesbians (assuming each parent is alive)
25.6 million grandparents (assuming two sets of living grandparents)
6.4 million uncles and aunts (assuming one per gay person)

Total: 57.6 million

How Gay Marriage Helps Your Neighborhood
Ferndale, Michigan’s downtown was once lined with abandoned buildings. After years of courting gays to live and start businesses, it had a vacancy rate of less than 3 percent (before the recession hit.

Ferndale followed the theories in the bestselling book, “The Rise of the Creative Class.” Civic leaders across the country pay over $10,000 to hear the author, urban planner Richard Florida, talk about the best way to revitalize their communities. His thesis: If cities want to jump-start their economies they must attract the dominant economic group in America–people who think for a living (doctors, lawyers, scientists, engineers, entrepreneurs and computer programmers). Dubbing them the “Creative Class,” Florida points out they’re the most dominant economic group, making up nearly 30% of the workforce.

Florida produced a number of indexes measuring characteristics of successful cities. There’s a High-Tech Index (ranking cities by the size of their software, electronics and engineering sectors) and an Innovation Index (ranking cities by the number of patents per capita).

But one of Florida’s most talked-about ranking is the Gay Index. He told
Read the rest of this entry »