Gay guys tend to ask how they can get their partners to stop watching porn while straight guys ask how they can get their partners to start.
To wit, my answer to a guy who couldn’t get his girlfriend to fondle the remote:
Do what a porn director does–put it in the best light. Ask her to watch porn and you’ll get a flat no. Ask her to embark on a joint sexual journey and you’ll be watching the bompa-bompa-chicka-wow-wow together in no time.
The reason you have to go through all this nonsense is because you are, ahem, asking her to watch other women turn you on. Not exactly hitting an emotional G-spot with that one. Read the rest of this entry »
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“When it comes to your guy’s penis, remember three things: if it’s small, say it’s the perfect fit; if it’s average, say it’s huge; if it’s huge, he’ll know – but he’ll love hearing you say it anyway.”
That quote was part of a long list compiled by writer Sandra Prior.
It’s one of the best lists I’ve ever read about The Male Mind. Rounding out the rest of my top ten:
1. I think about you more than you realize. I just don’t phone or e-mail you every time it happens.
2. Making me ask a man for directions is like me telling you to ask another woman for fashion advice.
3. I love being seduced, so please do it more often. Always being the one to start things off sexually puts more pressure on me than you realize.
4. It’s actually not okay to pee in front of me all the time. It’s just a little too familiar, you know?
5. If I stand a chance with you, never play hard to get. I’m so freaked out by rejection I’ll just assume you aren’t into me and stop calling.
For the rest of my top ten (and the 40+ quotes on the rest of the list…)
Read the rest of this entry »
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The same way you tell her, with one major difference: Your body language.
Women are “face-to-face” communicators, while men respond better in “side-by-side” talks. Women like a lot more eye contact and anthropologists think it has a lot to do with the biological roots of nursing, cuddling and caring for infants, which requires prolonged eye contact.
Men, on the other hand, tend to see eye contact as confrontational. Helen Fisher, in what has to be one of the best sex books ever, Why We Love, explains it this way:
“For many millennia men faced their enemies; they sat or walked sat by side as they hunted game with their friends.”
In other words, if you’re going to talk, do it while you’re walking, cooking or doing some activity where you’ll be side-by-side, not face-to-face.
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She’s so bad you fall asleep halfway through her moans.
How do you bring up such sensitive topic without getting kicked to the curb?
By avoiding a conversation at all costs. Let’s face it, we men suck at talking. We always end up buying ourselves a late-night spot on the couch. I always suggest the Foreplay Forum instead. Get naked in bed and ask all the questions you want her to ask you. Like, “What are three things you’d like more of? Show me how you want me to go south on you. Show me the best way to touch you.” Test-drive her suggestions by asking, “Like this or like that? Harder or softer? Slower or faster?” Once she sees how much interest you take in *her* pleasure, she’ll be a lot more receptive to yours.
Now, if she’s got an awful “stick-it-in-I’ve-got-clothes-to-fold” attitude, then you HAVE to talk. Where? Anywhere but the bedroom. Too threatening. When? Not after sex. Aim for mellow time—like a Sunday morning when you’re sipping coffee and pretending to read the New York Times. How? Casually. No pronouncements like, “Honey, We’ve Got To Talk About Our Sex Lives.” That’s a guaranteed way of going from bad sex to no sex. Instead, frame it as a desire to take both your sex lives to the next level.
Keep things positive and for God’s sakes, don’t be honest. She doesn’t need to know that the National Hurricane Center gave your last session a Category 5 Yawn. And don’t think you can tell her what she’s bad at as long as you tell her what she’s good at. She’ll never forgive you. When you get down to specifics, tell her what you want more of, not less of. Bottom line: Don’t cop an attitude when you can cop a feel.
Flicker Sex: The fix for a low libido
Hysterical video on how to measure your penis (PG rated)
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Studies show the average penis size is…
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