Which is worse—being Single and Lonely or Miserable and Married?
I was in London’s Soho Pizzeria with two friends—one trying to make his relationship work; the other trying to make anything work. After a bottle and half of red, I threw out a question that made the pepperoni curl: Are the problems of being single worse than the problems of being in a relationship?
It’s like asking which is the worst way to die—drowning or getting shot. It just depends on the kind of pain you’re not into. I don’t think we came to a conclusion (wine does that), but I’d say being single redlines the misery index.
If you’re single, you’re pretty much ruled by a primal “Skin hunger.” Not just down-n-dirty (and seemingly always unresolved) horniness, but a profound longing for physical touch.
Being in a relationship has its own problems but the skin hunger is usually met in some way. Even if you’re having little or no sex, there’s usually some physicality involved, even if it’s just the presence of somebody else in the room. You might not have sex but you probably sleep together, hold hands, and give or get the odd kiss. Which of course keeps the skin hunger from slipping into starvation.
As my single friend and my ‘relationship’ friend traded miseries, I thought to myself: Why is it that when we get into a relationship we forget the relentless skin hunger that drove us crazy when we were single?
