Gay guys tend to ask how they can get their partners to stop watching porn while straight guys ask how they can get their partners to start.
To wit, my answer to a guy who couldn’t get his girlfriend to fondle the remote:
Do what a porn director does–put it in the best light. Ask her to watch porn and you’ll get a flat no. Ask her to embark on a joint sexual journey and you’ll be watching the bompa-bompa-chicka-wow-wow together in no time.
The reason you have to go through all this nonsense is because you are, ahem, asking her to watch other women turn you on. Not exactly hitting an emotional G-spot with that one. Read the rest of this entry »
No Comments »
I don’t know what normal people do on Mondays, but I spent mine looking at hot naked men all day. Well, not all day. I went for a doctor visit first, which is exactly that. We quickly dispense with the boring medical business; then talk shoes, boys, plastic surgery, and cosmetics. Then we plan to go to lunch or something. We spent most of the visit discussing whether or not she should get implants, and I told her I would do a post on my personal decision process later this week.
So afterward I came home and started doing my research for June and July’s “Wide-On” feature. Last week fellow blogger,
Mike Alvear, suggested a website that I might find inspiration from called
“Kenneth in the 212.” Telling me about a good blog is like handing a crackhead a lit pipe, I can spend all day blog trolling. I’ve always had voyeuristic tendencies and love peeping into peoples lives, so blogs must have been created for me. What could be more interesting than someone’s thoughts, even the less inspired ones? So then I started reading Kenneth’s blog roll and it just sort of snow balled from there.
I saw so many pictures of naked men that I now have a condition called “dick lash”. Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments »
It wasn’t just the higher penis to vagina ratio that aroused guest blogger Susan Walsh. It was the passion.
I propose that straight men try watching gay porn for a change, so they can learn what women want. What, you don’t find that intuitively obvious? It actually makes perfect sense. I can explain. Research shows that online porn is the single largest source of sexual information for young men. They watch it alone, and they also watch it in groups with other guys as a bonding activity.
(What does a room full of straight guys do when they all have boners at 3pm? Just wondering.)
Recently I was researching an article about the role of porn as an influence on sexual behavior. After consulting the academic literature, I hung out on both straight and gay male porn sites for…well, for a while.
(It’s amazing how a whole day can just fly by when you’re enjoying your work!)
What I found on straight porn sites was pretty much what I expected, but I was astounded by what I saw in gay porn. Especially amazing was the contrast between the two. As a straight woman, I found the straight porn repulsive. It was unbearably phony and mechanical. It was also very demeaning to women in many cases. But the gay porn? It was arousing. I hadn’t expected that!
(I figured it had to be the higher penis to vagina ratio, i.e. infinite.)
I decided to spend more time, um, trying to figure it out.
(Whoa! There went Tuesday!)
Why does it matter what kind of porn guys watch?
Read the rest of this entry »
7 Comments »
WTF?
Why would women who love women watch sex between two men? It’s a head-scratcher but the phenomenon is true. Ask any lesbian and she’ll tell you, if she doesn’t watch gay porn she knows a lesbian who does.
Here’s my take on it: Most lesbians have a heightened awareness of how men have oppressed women and straight porn is often Exhibit A in that exploitation. In gay porn, the bottoms (traditionally like women, receivers) are often just as ‘powerful’ as tops (traditionally, like men, givers). So while it’s still male-on-male sex, there’s a power dynamic at work that appeals to lesbian political and personal sensibilities. They’re not so much looking at the “players” in the play, but the roles they’re playing.
Then there’s the impatience angle. Lesbian porn takes FOREVER to get to the sex. All that crap about love, intimacy and emotional connections takes up half the DVD. As one lesbian fan of gay porn told me:
“I like gay porn because the actors having sex are unencumbered by a U-Haul. It all boils down to different philosophies. Men: Fuck it or kill it. Lesbians: Take it to the vet or adopt it.”
Third, a lot of lesbians are turned on by masculinity, so they get off on hot male bodies. Not because they want to have sex with them but because they internalize and then express the masculinity they see onscreen (Comic Lea Delaria has a hilarious line about that: “It’s not that lesbians don’t like dick; it’s that we don’t like them on men!”).
And finally, there’s my strap-on dildo theory. Lots of lesbians use them. They have to learn how and if straight porn isn’t going to show it and lesbian porn is too boring, then what’s left to show them how to use a tool they weren’t born with?
Sex is so interesting. What makes no sense to you makes perfect sense to somebody else. I’m like most people–when it comes to porn, I only want to see who I want to shtup. Period, end of stroke.
16 Comments »
