Mike Alvear's Urge & Merge

If you can’t master the keys on the phone you’re never going to get the keys to his door.

Studies show the average person sends or receives over 100 texts a year. If you’ve met somebody you’re interested in, you’ve gotta learn the art of going from textual to sexual.

“Hey, what’s up?”

You may as well have texted:

Not only are you announcing that you’ve got the personality of a Kansas zip code, you’re leaving him in the awkward situation of creating the value for a conversation you started.

If you start a text thread don’t ask for value; deliver it.

Your goal shouldn’t be to start a conversation. It should be to bring a smile to their face. Be quirky, fun, observational. Which text would you rather get:

“Hi, how are you?”

Or

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I’m furious at my girlfriends. As more and more gay guys adopt their dating strategies (no sex without dating), people like me are getting less and less sex.

I’m from the old school. I believe in sex before dating.

There’s a reason for that. Nothing kills sexual attraction more than having dinner with a guy so dull even the corn on the cob covers its ears.

Women are socialized to “hang on to it,” as a girlfriend put it, until they get something valuable in exchange.

Men, on the other hand, are socialized to “let go of it.” And the exchange rate has nothing to do with it.

Women have what men want, and this sets up a classic seller’s market: Huge demand and a tight supply. The twist is that the suppliers want to give it away, too, but they can’t because the market is regulated by outside forces–religion, society and empty ring fingers. So while it’s a seller’s market, even the sellers aren’t happy.

Sex between men, however, is the classic example of what happens when supply meets demand:  Everybody’s happy.

Last month I experienced what my girlfriends put their men through— a “forced” date. That’s when you’re forced to pay for play. Meaning, Dinner.

Sound familiar, ladies?

See, a straight woman says, *”I’m sorry, I can’t have sex with you until I get to know you.”*

A gay man says,

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1. Are you hitting on me? If he likes you, you’re in. Stop reading. Go home. Enjoy him. If he’s not sure or he’s not immediately attracted, you better give him a reason for talking or your going to get your approach stamped, “REQUEST DENIED!” So say something like, “Help me settle a bet with a friend…” or “I’m asking you because…” The point is to give him context. You can always try the direct route—“because I want to bend you over the railing and pound the dust out of your rug.” But really, if it were that easy you wouldn’t need to read this post.

2. How long are you going to be? If he’s not immediately attracted to you, he’ll spend the whole time trying to get rid of you. So, use a “Time Constraint” –something that lets him know he’s a pit stop, not a landing spot. Like, “I have to get back to my friend in a sec, but I have to ask you…” Pair it with symmetrical body language—leaning away, or taking a couple of steps away as you’re talking. When it comes to dating or hooking up, the shortest distance between two zippers isn’t always a straight line.

By giving him 1) a rationale for talking and 2) leaving quickly, you’ve set up an exquisite question in your future ex-husband’s mind–“Was that guy interested or just being friendly?” That’s exactly where you want him: Wondering. Because wondering will make him more receptive to your company when you come back–and you will (more on how later), giving you the opportunity to charm the pants off him.

And inch him closer to that railing.

The “wait until you know someone before you get naked” approach might not be the rage on college campuses, but an increasing number of relationship gurus are advising women to heed Grandma’s wisdom, and make the guy buy the cow before you start giving away the milk.

In her new book, “Not Tonight, Mr. Right” (Marlowe and Company, $13.95), sex expert Kate Taylor suggests “women who quickly jump in the sack have their hearts broken faster” and “relationships are more fun, easier and longer lasting” when you stay vertical instead of going horizontal.

Men — well, those who aren’t the fathers of teenage girls — might argue against waiting, yet Taylor claims, “smart girls don’t.”

Prior to preaching the “no nookie, keep-your-knickers-on-until-you’re-sure” mantra, Taylor, a Brit with a wicked sense of humor, authored several sex books. After suffering her own heartaches, Taylor awakened to the idea that, “if you sleep with a man right away, you are throwing away your best chance of making him become absolutely wild about you.”

Her research reveals that men find their partner less attractive and sexy after their first roll between the sheets, but women find their partner more sexy after their first romp.  The culprit is

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