If you can’t master the keys on the phone you’re never going to get the keys to his door.
Studies show the average person sends or receives over 100 texts a year. If you’ve met somebody you’re interested in, you’ve gotta learn the art of going from textual to sexual.
First, do NOT send an open-ended text. Here’s the very worst one you can send:
“Hey, what’s up?”
You may as well have texted:
“Would you mind coming up with something interesting to say
because I’m so boring the plaster peels off the wall when I talk to it.”
Not only are you announcing that you’ve got the personality of a Kansas zip code, you’re leaving him in the awkward situation of creating the value for a conversation you started.
If you start a text thread don’t ask for value; deliver it.
Your goal shouldn’t be to start a conversation. It should be to bring a smile to their face. Be quirky, fun, observational. Which text would you rather get:
“Hi, how are you?”
Or
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August 4th, 2009 at 11:29 am
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You see him in the corner. Pure Shagability. Before you bust a move, know that he’s going to ask himself two things when you get there…
1. Are you hitting on me? If he likes you, you’re in. Stop reading. Go home. Enjoy him. If he’s not sure or he’s not immediately attracted, you better give him a reason for talking or your going to get your approach stamped, “REQUEST DENIED!” So say something like, “Help me settle a bet with a friend…” or “I’m asking you because…” The point is to give him context. You can always try the direct route—“because I want to bend you over the railing and pound the dust out of your rug.” But really, if it were that easy you wouldn’t need to read this post.
2. How long are you going to be? If he’s not immediately attracted to you, he’ll spend the whole time trying to get rid of you. So, use a “Time Constraint” –something that lets him know he’s a pit stop, not a landing spot. Like, “I have to get back to my friend in a sec, but I have to ask you…” Pair it with symmetrical body language—leaning away, or taking a couple of steps away as you’re talking. When it comes to dating or hooking up, the shortest distance between two zippers isn’t always a straight line.
By giving him 1) a rationale for talking and 2) leaving quickly, you’ve set up an exquisite question in your future ex-husband’s mind–“Was that guy interested or just being friendly?” That’s exactly where you want him: Wondering. Because wondering will make him more receptive to your company when you come back–and you will (more on how later), giving you the opportunity to charm the pants off him.
And inch him closer to that railing.
April 10th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
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