Who’s Responsible for Contraception–the man or the woman?
Dear Sexorcist:
Condoms sometimes make my boyfriend go limp the second he puts them on, so he’s insisting I go on The Pill. I’m like, no way. Why should I take something that’s going to fuck up my hormones, make me gain weight and possibly put me at risk for cancer just because he can’t get used to a little rubber? He’s pissed off that we’re not having much sex and I’m resentful that all of the burden falls on me. On top of that, he thinks he’s being fair and balanced. How do we settle this?
- Stumped in Stockdale
Dear Stumped:
He thinks he’s being fair and balanced? I’m more balanced at 2 a.m. after last call. Your boyfriend’s being a prick. He needs to put a condom over himself and go limp.
I agree with him on one point, though: Nothing gives your dick a flat tire faster than a condom. But he’s acting as if he can’t do anything about it. Not true. If you guys try my Condom Immersion Program his fear of going limp will shrivel up.
In a stunning,‘oh no, he didn’t’ act of irresponsibility, the Pope said people in Africa shouldn’t use condoms because it would further spread HIV infections.
22 million people are infected in Africa, and three quarters of all AIDS deaths occurred there in 2007. “You can’t resolve it with the distribution of condoms,” the pope told reporters aboard a jet to the continent. “On the contrary, it increases the problem.”
The Pope believes that abstinence, not condoms, is the only way to stop the raging AIDS epidemic. Fine. You don’t have to give up your belief in abstinence to have an impact on curbing the spread of HIV. You just have to give up making everything else its enemy.
The Pope seemed to have declared logic, reason and facts the new Axis of Evil. Condoms are far more likely to protect you from HIV than abstinence. Studies show that “condom failure” hovers around 1-5%. They also show that “abstinence failure” hovers around 80% (very few people can practice abstinence over a long period of time and when they ‘fall off the wagon’ they almost never use protection).
I understand Pope Benedict XVI wants to advocate abstinence but he doesn’t have to do it in a way that tells the world, “Just Say No To Safe Sex.”
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