Mike Alvear's Urge & Merge

Alexander Skarsgard, otherwise known as “Eric Northman” on HBO’s hit series “True Blood,” embodies the dark eroticism and just raw sexuality that the disturbing theme song promises in the open credits. He is everywhere right now, Google his name or any variation and you’ll get millions of hits.

What makes the blonde, blue eyed Swede so magnetic as an improbable character-a thousand year old viking- in yet another cheesy vampire themed show? I have no idea really, but I’m buying into it and so is everyone else I know. Vampires are everywhere right now, from the “Twilight” series of books and movies, to the popularity of authors such as Charlaine Harris (creator of the “True Blood” characters in her “Sookie Stackhouse” series), J.R. Ward (Black Dagger Brotherhood), Sherrilyn Kenyon, Laurel Hamilton, and of course the God Mother of strange sexuality; Anne Rice.

This isn’t new though. Our thirst for the forbidden erotic started with a female demon from the Talmud named Lillith. Purported to be the first wife of Adam, she was portrayed in later scripture as a highly sexualized vampire like creature, a succubus, that came upon men in the night and drained them of their essence.  Against their will, of course.

Later, Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu and Bram Stoker further branded vampires in the public consciousness as deliverers of the ultimate sexual pleasure. Bringing this imagery to film only heightened the fascination we have for the undead. Ever notice that instead of a wince of pain as Dracula sank his fangs into a neck, that the victim looked transported into orgasmic ecstasy?

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Unfortunately I forgot to apply my lidocaine ointment an hour before because I was in a huge tearing hurry to go purchase “True Blood-Season One”, so that I could spend some quality recuperation time with Alexander Skarsgard this afternoon.

So I had to go this treatment sans numbing ointment which hurts like burning hell. Just tap your face with a live wire about sixty times or so. Make sure you get into the hairline too, so that you have that burning flesh and hair smell.