Mike Alvear’s Urge & Merge

The gay rights movement has always been pockmarked with ‘traitors’ from within (Roy Cohn, anyone?), but the treachery always came from the right, not the left. That all changed a few days ago when Perez Hilton posted x-rated pics of Dustin Lance Black, a beloved, rising star in the movement. Black won the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay for Milk, Gus Van Zandt’s ferociously moving bio-pic. He burst into the limelight with a poignant acceptance speech aimed at lonely, isolated gay kids.

Before we get to the betrayal by the bleached Brutus, three things you should know about Black:

1. He’s hot.
2. He’s eloquent.
3. He’s hot.

Did I mention he’s hot? Cuz he’s really hot. See my best-of pic collection here (Sorry, all G-rated. I’m not going to aid and abet Hilton’s betrayal). Heat factor aside, Perez Hilton is a traitor. Of the worst kind.

Dustin Lance Black is not the latest Larry Craig. He is not the newest version of Ted Haggard. He’s not a TV or movie star. He’s not a best-selling author or a polarizing figure with a media platform. He’s a guy committed to helping gay kids overcome the stigma, bullying and isolation they feel in schools, churches and often, in their own families. Last night, Black was honored by Lifeworks, an organization that links mentors with gay youths, providing them with a safe space and positive and affirming role models.

Yet, Hilton threw him under the bus.

Just to give you a sense of who Perez Hilton betrayed, here’s the transcript of Dustin Lance Black’s Oscar acceptance speech: Read the rest of this entry »

Read the rest of this entry »

I don’t know what normal people do on Mondays, but I spent mine looking at hot naked men all day. Well, not all day. I went for a doctor visit first, which is exactly that. We quickly dispense with the boring medical business; then talk shoes, boys, plastic surgery, and cosmetics. Then we plan to go to lunch or something. We spent most of the visit discussing whether or not she should get implants, and I told her I would do a post on my personal decision process later this week.

I saw so many pictures of naked men that I now have a condition called “dick lash”. Read the rest of this entry »

I’m always on a quest to be in the know about what makes a woman’s body work and how she can achieve toe curling orgasms. Two-thirds of women can’t climax through vaginal penetration requiring oral, digital or mechanical stimulation of the clitoris to rock their world. The clitoris is a bundle of 8,000 nerve fibers making it the most sensitive spot on the entire female body. Its purpose has no other function than sexual pleasure.

Luckily, having been shagging my political science professor in college who was quite adept at sexual play, I got my orgasm on early on when he illustrated to me all the ways I could manipulate my clitoris to mind blowing orgasms. That worked well for me for a decade as I learned all the sexual positions that would stimulate my clitoris during intercourse so that I was always sexually satisfied. Read the rest of this entry »

There’s a reason why condom manufacturers have a bag-it-at-50 rule:  Men don’t last long enough to warrant more.

Every study I’ve had thrusted upon me says the same thing–between 65% and 75% of men don’t last more than five minutes.

That wasn’t a typo.  FIVE MINUTES.   This, of course, is no surprise to the ladies– or the bottoms –who want their partners to enter the premature ejaculation event at the London Olympics, figuring they’ll come first.

Are we a nation of two-pump chumps?  Five-stroke blokes?  Read the rest of this entry »

I propose that straight men try watching gay porn for a change, so they can learn what women want. What, you don’t find that intuitively obvious? It actually makes perfect sense. I can explain. Research shows that online porn is the single largest source of sexual information for young men. They watch it alone, and they also watch it in groups with other guys as a bonding activity.

(What does a room full of straight guys do when they all have boners at 3pm? Just wondering.)

Recently I was researching an article about the role of porn as an influence on sexual behavior. After consulting the academic literature, I hung out on both straight and gay male porn sites for…well, for a while.

(It’s amazing how a whole day can just fly by when you’re enjoying your work!)

What I found on straight porn sites was pretty much what I expected, but I was astounded by what I saw in gay porn. Especially amazing was the contrast between the two. As a straight woman, I found the straight porn repulsive. It was unbearably phony and mechanical. It was also very demeaning to women in many cases. But the gay porn? It was arousing. I hadn’t expected that!

(I figured it had to be the higher penis to vagina ratio, i.e. infinite.)

I decided to spend more time, um, trying to figure it out.

(Whoa! There went Tuesday!)

Why does it matter what kind of porn guys watch?

Read the rest of this entry »

MARRIED

DIVORCED

I say there are two kinds of people who oppose porn:  Those who don’t know what they’re talking about and those who don’t know what they’re missing.  This flowchart, proudly stolen from Holy Taco, proves me wrong.  We know exactly what we’re getting!

Thanks goes to the witty Susan Welsh at hookingupsmart.com for alerting me to this.  Check her out!

Weep alert! Only 6% of men need extra large condoms

Hysterical video on how to measure your penis (PG rated)

Is Porn Bad for You?

Can you be straight and do gay porn?

Why do lesbians watch gay porn?

1. Are you hitting on me? If he likes you, you’re in. Stop reading. Go home. Enjoy him. If he’s not sure or he’s not immediately attracted, you better give him a reason for talking or your going to get your approach stamped, “REQUEST DENIED!” So say something like, “Help me settle a bet with a friend…” or “I’m asking you because…” The point is to give him context. You can always try the direct route—“because I want to bend you over the railing and pound the dust out of your rug.” But really, if it were that easy you wouldn’t need to read this post.

2. How long are you going to be? If he’s not immediately attracted to you, he’ll spend the whole time trying to get rid of you. So, use a “Time Constraint” –something that lets him know he’s a pit stop, not a landing spot. Like, “I have to get back to my friend in a sec, but I have to ask you…” Pair it with symmetrical body language—leaning away, or taking a couple of steps away as you’re talking. When it comes to dating or hooking up, the shortest distance between two zippers isn’t always a straight line.

By giving him 1) a rationale for talking and 2) leaving quickly, you’ve set up an exquisite question in your future ex-husband’s mind–“Was that guy interested or just being friendly?” That’s exactly where you want him: Wondering. Because wondering will make him more receptive to your company when you come back–and you will (more on how later), giving you the opportunity to charm the pants off him.

And inch him closer to that railing.

If I ever have children, the person I would want to be the guardian of those children should anything happen to me (and my children’s father) is one of my closest friends – who is also a gay man. He wants very much to have the right to marry, and although I would support this desire in any circumstance, I find myself becoming VERY emotionally invested in this for partly selfish reasons.

This is the man I would trust to raise my children above anyone else. I love my family and my other good friends, but he is the person in my life whose values align the closest with mine, not to mention being the most responsible person I know. From my perspective, it is in my interests (and the interests of any kids I may have) for him to be able to form a stable long-term relationship and to marry – with all the legal benefits associated with that institution.

How gay marriage strengthens straight marriage

I’m gay and not sold on gay marriage

Where does gay marriage rank in the top ten reasons why heterosexuals divorce?

Click here for an explosively emotional site that helps conservative parents come to terms with their gay children