Mike Alvear's Urge & Merge

From a reader: I’ve been with this guy for a few months now, and things are moving along quite nicely with one exception. We’re both tops. We click on so many levels except that one. To avoid a stalemate in the bedroom, I’ve been bottoming every time, but I really want to switch things up. I’ve asked him but he won’t. Is there any way I can change his mind?

-Wanting to top

Dear Wanting:

You can’t argue your way into a man’s starfish. Try it and the ten-foot fence around his sphincter will grow to twenty. Confront him and he’ll electrify the fence. Instead, seduce him. Even a salesman knows you don’t go for the ‘close’ right away.

Second, drop the labels. Saying something like, “I’m not going to be the bottom in this relationship” will trigger every emotional hot button he’s got about his masculinity. Instead, tell him you’re crazy-attracted to him and want to experience different aspects of him. Make it about Desire and you’ll fill his heels with helium. Make it about who’s the woman in the relationship and you’ll fill them with cement.

Third, use your Read the rest of this entry »

“A study of 2,500 gay and bisexual men claims that almost three-quarters of them would refuse an advance in medicine that could change their sexuality to heterosexual. … Whilst 26% of those surveyed admitted that they would take a ‘straight pill’, if such existed, almost three times as many men (74%) had no desire to alter their sexual preference.” The survey was conducted by ManCentral.com, a dating website, and probably a decent place to find guys who really, really like being gay.”

Read more: Pink Paper

Here’s a roundup of hair removal options. Most come with optional ear plugs for the person doing the removing.

Like it or not, the gay dating world is filled, or rather shorn, of a lot of hair. If you want to meet gay men, the hair-on-head-only look is going to help a lot, sad to say. So here are the options and their cruel legacies:

Laser Removal
What it is: Laser light grabs the hair follicle, says, “Luke, I am your father” and kills the hair root. It doesn’t kill the follicle, though, so hair can still grow back. Maybe it should say, “Luke, I did your Father” and it would work better.

How long it’ll take: About half an hour per session. Like the Star Wars movies, it’ll take about 8 sequels to get the job done.

Where you should aim it: At your boss. But if you need the job, your chest, back, stomach and genitals.
The hit: About $450 per treatment.
Duration: It’s the most permanent of your options, but touch-ups are the rule.

Waxing
What it is: Torture. They put strips of cloth over the wax and then RIP the fucker off. The new waxes aren’t supposed to be as painful as the old waxes, but that’s like saying getting stabbed by a dull knife doesn’t hurt as much as a sharp one. Technically true, but…

How long it’ll take: Ten minutes to an hour.

Where you should aim it: Unibrows, hair on the ears and neck, legs, underarms, and arms. Gay advice: Do NOT use it on your genitals unless you’re an extra on the next sequel to The Hills Have Eyes and need the screaming practice.

The hit: About $50-70 a session

Duration: About 4 to 6 weeks.
Read the rest of this entry »