Mike Alvear's Urge & Merge

Question:
Like your last writer (“Feeling Helpless”), I, too, am HIV, at a lower-income level and have had many doors shut in my face when trying to get help with medication payments and co pays.  I have applied to, and participated in, many pharmaceutical and/or hospital-based research studies in order to obtain the life-saving medications that I needed.  I was faithful to the dosing requirements and never missed an appointment with the doctor.  But, when the study was complete, so was my usefulness to the pharmaceutical company.  Once they’re done with the study they’re done with you.  It’s “no more meds and don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

I can’t begin to count how many HIV+ people I know who were denied drug assistance from AIDS services organizations (ASO) because their income was literally as little as a few dollars over the cutoff for financial aid.  Even if you are on disability, or working at a job that pays minimum wages but provides no health coverage, you may still not qualify for assistance in obtaining your necessary medications because, according to the government (city, county, state or federal — take your pick), you are seen as gainfully employed or with adequate income.  However, disability often puts you at a fixed income level for life and the minimum wage is not enough to live on.  What are you supposed to do when the apartment you rented 4 years ago for $525.00 a month is now renting for $750.00 per month?

While your suspicions that  “Feeling Helpless” couldn’t get help because he didn’t provide proper documentation may be accurate, please remember that thousands of HIV+ men, women and children are denied assistance every day in this country because of corporate politics, outmoded financial requirements and critical funding shortages.  “Feeling Helpless” may fall into that group of pozzies.

–  Been there myself

Dear Been There:
Thank you for showing my readers just how ‘manageable’ that “manageable condition” can be.

You’re right about all the obstacles people face in getting meds but wrong about who you’re blaming.  When it comes to who gets help and who doesn’t, AIDS Service organizations (ASOs) don’t make the rules; they follow them.  The rule-makers are the state and federal governments.

Example:  Read the rest of this entry »

Q: 

Is there any harm in lying on a tanning bed in the nude?

–  Butt First 

Dear Butt First:

The ultraviolet rays of a tanning bed won’t do any more harm to your dick than they do to your back.  But that’s not saying much, since the consensus among dermatologists is that tanning beds cause skin cancer.

Every day more than a million Americans go to the nation’s 50,000 tanning facilities.  The ultraviolet radiation these “beds” give off is a carcinogen just like tobacco, according to the latest study in The Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology.   As one of the study’s authors notes, “Radiation use has been declared a carcinogen by the National Institutes of Health.”

From a reader: I’ve been with this guy for a few months now, and things are moving along quite nicely with one exception. We’re both tops. We click on so many levels except that one. To avoid a stalemate in the bedroom, I’ve been bottoming every time, but I really want to switch things up. I’ve asked him but he won’t. Is there any way I can change his mind?

-Wanting to top

Dear Wanting:

You can’t argue your way into a man’s starfish. Try it and the ten-foot fence around his sphincter will grow to twenty. Confront him and he’ll electrify the fence. Instead, seduce him. Even a salesman knows you don’t go for the ‘close’ right away.

Second, drop the labels. Saying something like, “I’m not going to be the bottom in this relationship” will trigger every emotional hot button he’s got about his masculinity. Instead, tell him you’re crazy-attracted to him and want to experience different aspects of him. Make it about Desire and you’ll fill his heels with helium. Make it about who’s the woman in the relationship and you’ll fill them with cement.

Third, use your Read the rest of this entry »

“A study of 2,500 gay and bisexual men claims that almost three-quarters of them would refuse an advance in medicine that could change their sexuality to heterosexual. … Whilst 26% of those surveyed admitted that they would take a ‘straight pill’, if such existed, almost three times as many men (74%) had no desire to alter their sexual preference.” The survey was conducted by ManCentral.com, a dating website, and probably a decent place to find guys who really, really like being gay.”

Read more: Pink Paper

Here’s a roundup of hair removal options. Most come with optional ear plugs for the person doing the removing.

Like it or not, the gay dating world is filled, or rather shorn, of a lot of hair. If you want to meet gay men, the hair-on-head-only look is going to help a lot, sad to say. So here are the options and their cruel legacies:

Laser Removal
What it is: Laser light grabs the hair follicle, says, “Luke, I am your father” and kills the hair root. It doesn’t kill the follicle, though, so hair can still grow back. Maybe it should say, “Luke, I did your Father” and it would work better.

How long it’ll take: About half an hour per session. Like the Star Wars movies, it’ll take about 8 sequels to get the job done.

Where you should aim it: At your boss. But if you need the job, your chest, back, stomach and genitals.
The hit: About $450 per treatment.
Duration: It’s the most permanent of your options, but touch-ups are the rule.

Waxing
What it is: Torture. They put strips of cloth over the wax and then RIP the fucker off. The new waxes aren’t supposed to be as painful as the old waxes, but that’s like saying getting stabbed by a dull knife doesn’t hurt as much as a sharp one. Technically true, but…

How long it’ll take: Ten minutes to an hour.

Where you should aim it: Unibrows, hair on the ears and neck, legs, underarms, and arms. Gay advice: Do NOT use it on your genitals unless you’re an extra on the next sequel to The Hills Have Eyes and need the screaming practice.

The hit: About $50-70 a session

Duration: About 4 to 6 weeks.
Read the rest of this entry »