Question!
Every time I go to an online cruising site I end up seeing profiles of friends or acquaintances that are supposedly in monogamous relationships. It’s one thing to put a profile online if you’re in an open relationship but a lot of these guys *claim* they’re monogamous. Aside from the hypocrisy and immorality of it all, the thing that baffles me is how these guys get away with it. Are their boyfriends that stupid?

– Online Onlooker

Dear Onlooker:
Well, they’re either that stupid or the cheating boyfriends are that cunning. I’m a smart guy and I’ve been hoodwinked once or twice by a stud or two. I swear, this one guy, he was such a cheatin’ man, when I kissed him I had to count my teeth.

Today’s technology gives Men Behaving Badly a new way to misbehave. With GrindR and Manhunt’s mobile service, boyfriends can REALLY stray under the radar.

Technology always has a good side/bad side aspect to it. The Good: Single guys don’t have to be chained to their computer to meet guys online. The Bad: Married guys don’t have to be, either.

It’s Kevin. Followed by Justin. They’re the least likely to have their profiles clicked on. Why? Because those names are associated with ‘troublemakers.’

But, uhm, what if you want trouble?

Here’s the full story:

The Atlantic Wire did a great piece on Manhunt, the men seeking men website, and its new billboard campaign:  Here’s a slice:

The Players: Manhunt, a gay dating site founded in 2001 with over 6.5 million members and their new, racy, gay billboards; Kelly Cole, co-president of the Valley View elementary PTA who thinks those ads are too racy and gay.

The Opening Serve: Manhunt’s recent ad campaign for the location-based dating app has hit billboards in Los Angeles.  “Zero Feet Away” is the tagline, and it features two, shirtless, almost-kissing men. Manhunt says that the ad sparked dozens of complaints which began pouring into its Massachusetts headquarters, but one mom blogger pushed their ads to national attention. “I never thought this would be me: A liberal feminist complaining about a sex-positive, homosexual billboard. Like that would ever happen,” begins Cole, a co-president of the Valley View Elementary PTA. “You try explaining the “Zero feet away MANHUNT MOBILE” phone application to your 9-year-old son. A 9-year-old who loves Army guys, and so noticed the dog tags right away.”  She explains it’s not the “blatant porniness” or that the ad is gay-focused which bothers her:

For more:  click here.

QUESTION:
Do you think there’s such a thing as “Lesbian Bed Death” syndrome or is it an urban myth? And do you think there’s a gay male version of it?

– Ain’t Sure

Dear Ain’t:
About 20 years ago a major sex study showed that women in lesbian relationships had significantly less sex than women in heterosexual ones. Since then, lesbians have been the victims of drive-by “lesbian bed death” jokes. Like, what do you call it when you’re paralyzed from the waist down? A lesbian relationship.

The study’s findings may have been true 20 years ago but I doubt it holds any juices today. Read the rest of this entry »

Q:

This is more of a comment than a question.  My new boyfriend doesn’t have nearly as good a body as my old boyfriend but he’s SO confident in his body that he actually turns me on more!  Who knew that confidence could literally change the way you perceive someone’s body?

–  Glowing and Growing

Dear Glowing:

‘Body Confidence’ produces a cascade of heat-raising turn-ons.  It challenges all the senses, making sex fire on all cylinders.  Your boyfriend’s confidence improves his posture, making him stand straighter with shoulders back, and chest pushed forward, giving you a ‘boon with a view.’   Body confident guys are also more likely to spring a few surprises, heightening anticipation and completely changing the way you perceive their bodies.  The search for aphrodisiacs is over.  Bury the herbs and grow the confidence!

Q:

My boyfriend and I are planning a trip to spend time with our parents.   It sounds pretty normal but the thing of it is as soon as we get into bed I want to jump him like an animal.  I don’t know if it’s the sneaking around or the “I’m so bad” part of doing it at our parents’ house, but it has been the best sex we’ve ever had.  My boyfriend’s not as in to it as I am.  I have actually had to force him to do it a couple times but once he gets into it it’s amazing.  How can I get him past his inhibitions so we can get down to business?

–  Father complex

Dear Father complex:

If you want him to drop his drawers you have to raise some issues.  Like how not to get caught.  Talk to him about soundproofing your parent’s guest bedroom.   Here are a few tips to keep the nosiest parents at bay: Read the rest of this entry »

Q:

Every time I go out to the bars with a friend of mine –and we’ve never been anything but, he acts and treats me like his boyfriend.  He holds my arms like I am his.  He stands really, *really* close to me.  Guys ask me all the time if he’s my boyfriend.  I tell them no.  Some guys just assume that he is.  What makes this situation a little more embarrassing is my friend is 15 years older than I am.  So guys not only think he is my boyfriend but they think he is my sugar daddy.  That’s why I always tell him not to buy me any drinks.  I don’t want to look like his boyfriend or worse, his *”boy.”*

There is another irritating thing about this situation.  When he sees a possible trick, he acts like I would prefer him to act around me…like a friend.  He’ll even tell me to go walk around and leave him until he gets his guy.

I like hanging out with him but how should I approach the subject so I don’t hurt his feelings or crush his self-esteem?

–  Killing my Groove

Dear Killing: Read the rest of this entry »

Q:

I’ve been with my lover for 10 years.  Recently I found out he’s been having sex with his male first cousin who is HIV Positive.  He’s gotten Chlamydia in the throat and anus and takes an oral –and anal–form of Mycelex.  I love him with all my heart but he is now starting to get hostile with me since I confronted him about it and expressed worry that I’m going to get HIV from him.   Is there any help for people like me who are co-dependent and in love?  Is this normal for two first cousins who are gay to have sex?  I am confused and hurt.

–  Don’t Know Anymore

Dear Don’t Know:

I just want to make sure I have this straight. He puts you in danger of contracting a possibly fatal disease and shows no concern for your health?

Wow, it must really hurt to have your lover wipe his feet on you every time he walks in the door.  Isn’t the ‘Welcome’ sign wearing out from all the shoe leather? Read the rest of this entry »

Q:

My boyfriend and I sleep in separate beds.  Most of my friends think this is weird and predict our relationship is doomed.  Do you think it’s true?  They’re saying we don’t really love each other.

–  Sleeping Soundly

Well, it all depends on why you’re not sleeping together.  If it’s because he smells like road kill or because you’re banishing him to the couch for screwing the pool boy AGAIN, then, yeah, you’ll probably break up.  But there are lots of happy couples that don’t sleep together.  According to the National Sleep Foundation, 25% of couples don’t share their mattresses.  You can have a great relationship in bed without actually sleeping in it.  “Separately-bedroomed” couples usually go to bed together, have sex, cuddle, talk, fantasize about the new guy at the gym—you know, the usual things gay couples talk about—and then one partner gets up and sleeps in another bedroom.

When they wake up, one gets out of his bed and climbs onto the other one’s to cuddle, have sex and talk about the new guy at the gym.

Why do some couples sleep separately?  Usually one partner snores too loudly, likes a wildly different room temperature, or simply gets more restful sleep when they’re alone.  Unless you know why a couple is sleeping separately you shouldn’t rush to judgment.  That’s my job.

Q:

I’m a big believer in “reading” signs.  Sometimes what looks to be a good sign turns bad and vice versa.  What do you think are the most common misinterpreted signs between gay couples?

–  Signologist

Dear Signologist:

Here are my top three misperceived “bad signs”:

1. Your partner no longer gets dressed up for dates anymore.

Most guys think he’s lost interest.   I say he’s lost his will to shop.  Or, more likely, he’s showing how comfortable he is around you.  You dress up to impress.  You dress down to decompress.  What bigger compliment can you get than to have someone say, “That I’m with you is more important than what’s on me.”

Read the rest of this entry »