From The Guardian: Alexander the Great’s bare bottom is keeping a highly-praised debut novel off shelves in Canada.

Annabel Lyon’s The Golden Mean is the story of Alexander’s childhood, told through the eyes of his tutor Aristotle. Praised as “a triumph of erudition and story-telling” by The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas author John Boyne and shortlisted for Canada’s top literary award, the Giller prize, it was published last year in Canada and is just out in the UK where the Financial Times has admired its “eerie earthiness”.

But apparently its jacket – featuring a naked man lying on the back of an equally naked white horse – is offensive to some. Although stores across Canada and the UK are selling the book, Lyons revealed on her blog that British Columbia ferry company BC Ferries is not stocking it “since the trade paperback still features a bare bum on the cover”.

Apparently, he’s a bit touchy about the subject. Here’s his reaction to an Elle Magazine reporter who asked him where he likes to lodge his log: “That was, like, the worst interview I’ve ever done, and it kind of turned me off from doing interviews completely, because that guy [the interviewer] was such a dick. It just turned into like a verbal sparring match and I was trying to be polite to him, but just right off the bat he came out with all these crazy accusations and stuff. So I was like, ‘Ok, buddy… .’ I was completely caught off-guard.”

So was the Elle reporter rude? Judge for yourself. Here’s the transcript, thanks to queerty.com.

ELLE: So, Matt, you’re a musical theater star who’s been interviewed by The Advocate and much discussed on Manhunt.com, and you star in Glee, a program that’s referred to as “the gayest show on TV.” You must feel particularly proud being the first gay man to grace this page.

MATTHEW MORRISON: I’m not gay.

ELLE: I had indeed read in various places that you’re straight, but in light of the circumstantial evidence, I wasn’t sure.

MM: I grew up singing and dancing, so people have been calling me gay since fifth grade. I’ve heard everything you could possibly hear about it. But I do love gay people, so I’m not going to act like I was insulted or angry about it.

ELLE: But do you ever do anything to suppress your gayest traits? Like, on a club dance floor, will you keep a lid on your best moves in order not to look too much like Tommy Tune out there?

MM: Oh, yeah. I’ll do what I refer to as “the shoulder dance,” just, you know, move my shoulders and do a little head bobbing.

ELLE: What was the first moment you realized you were a heterosexual being?

MM: I was really sexual from an early age. My first kiss was actually with two girls at the same time. One girl would be behind the bush with me for a minute and the other girl would be timing us. Then they’d switch.

HMM. Doesn’t seem to me there’s a gay date possibility. But still, that pic…are you sure there’s no gay seduction scene in your future, Will Shuster?

1. Oprah Winfrey

2. Iman

3. Paris Hilton

4. Nicole Richie

5. Ashley Lilley

6. Emmy Rossum

7. Tara Reid

8. Britney Spears

9. Sharon Stone

10. Jennifer Love Hewitt

I was watching an MSNBC reporter grill a White House aide, asking if she’d ever seen Obama with a cig hanging off his lower lip. The aide said, “I personally haven’t. You’ll have to ask Michelle.”

Indeed.

Another priceless description from Gawker.com.

“Intense or Intimidating?” blares the headline of Entertainment Weekly’s Pop Watch blog. Referencing photographer Annie Leibowitz saying she tried to capture Woods’ focus, blogger Adam Markovitz writes, “But is “focus” what comes across here? Tiger’s expression also seems more than a little menacing to me, but maybe that’s just a result of the fallen sports idol’s post-scandal image?”

Actually, that’s not why he looks so “menacing” or “intimidating.” It’s because he looks completely black. We’re only used to seeing Tiger as a mixed race athlete (is he white? black? asian?) in conservative golf clothing bathed in flattering sunlight. But this picture shows him shirtless with a black cap, closed fists and darkish lighting. And with a look that says, “Where the white women at?”

He doesn’t look like the focused athlete we once loved; he looks like the guy you’re afraid of when you lock the door at night. Did Vanity Fair mug the athlete of the century with an unfair portrayal? Did they capture the real Tiger Woods? Or did they simply hold up a mirror to the country?

Here’s the list of superstar couples who avoided celebrity divorce:

1. Ron Howard & Cheryl Howard (34 years)
2. Meryl Streep & Don Gummer (30 years)
3. Danny Devito & Rhea Perlman (27 years)
4. Denzel Washington & Pauletta Pearson (26 years)
5. Goldie Hawn & Kurt Russell (25 years)
6. Michael J. Fox & Tracey Pollan (21 years)
7. Tom Hanks & Rita Wilson (21 years)
8. Kevin Bacon & Kyra Segwick (19 years)
9. Stephen Spielberg & Kate Capshaw (18 years)
10. Will Smith & Jada Pinkett (14 years)

From Towleroad:

“Eamon Farrell is having a blessing to mark his union with artist boyfriend Steve Mannion. According to the Irish Independent, the pair actually got married in Canada this summer, with Colin as Eamon’s best man. At the time Eamon lamented the fact he and his partner could not wed in Ireland…After the wedding blessing the couple will spend the evening with a host of well-wishers in Krystle nightclub, a funky venue on Harcourt Street in Dublin. The club has private booths, a pent house and a VIP suite – ideal for accommodating the VIP party. It will be a family night out, including Farrell’s mother Rita and sisters Claudine and Catherine, the Independent reports. A gang of other Irish celebs will be there too.”

Million Woman March: Tiger's concubines rally in Washington

By now you’ve probably heard the sordid details of Tiger Woods alleged affairs with cocktail waitress Jamiee Grubbs, New York city nightclub hostess Rachel Uchitel, and Las Vegas party planner Kalika Moquin.

The scandal comes as a bit of a surprise to his many fans, especially considering his squeaky-clean image.

Here are details so far, in case you missed anything:

On November 27, Tiger crashed his Cadillac Escalade outside his Florida home. There have been a number of reports that Tiger and his wife Elin were arguing over a text message. There has also been some speculation as to whether Elin bashed out Tiger’s car window with a golf club to “rescue” him from his car as has been claimed, or was, er, bashing his window with a golf club for some other reason.

Swedish golfer Jesper Parnevik introduced Tiger Woods to his wife Elin Nordegren in 2001, while she was working for Parnevik’s family as an au pair, “We probably thought he was a better guy than he is. I probably would have to apologize to her and hope she uses a driver next time rather than a three-iron, I would say.”

Why do (seemingly) nice guys cheat?

Cheaters usually fall into two categories: Those who are always looking for opportunities to cheat (serial cheaters) and those who find themselves with an opportunity to cheat and make a bad decision. (Unintended cheaters.)

Serial cheaters usually use sex as a sort of emotional band-aid to make themselves feel better about insecurities, growing older, depression, and for thrill-seeking, among other things. Serial cheaters seek out opportunities for sex – think ESPN’s Steve Phillips.

Unintended cheaters generally make a bad decision when presented with an opportunity to cheat, but don’t seek out the opportunity. This is the kind of person who sleeps with a coworker after an out of town conference following a rough month, or a difficult life change.

And once that horse is out of the starting gate, all bets are off.

So what does that make Tiger?

At this point, it’s hard to tell. On the “Unintentional Cheater” side of the argument, Tiger had a lot of things on his plate back in early 2007 when Grubbs claims they began their affair:

First, he’d lived for a couple of decades under the intense pressure of perfection. Despite the fact that he has been in the media spotlight for a very long time, he’s never really had a screw-up. And he is, after all, a human being. None of us can sustain perfection indefinitely.

Second, Tiger’s father, by many accounts his north star, died in 2006 after a bout with cancer.

Finally, Tiger’s wife Elin was very pregnant with their first child Sam when the alleged affair began. Sleazy? Yes. But is it unheard of for a guy to freak out when his wife gets pregnant, whether at the prospect of a permanent relationship, or terror of the responsibility of becoming a father? Nope. In fact, it happens with astounding frequency.

On the “Serial Cheater” side of the argument, if in fact Woods did have relationships with the three women, Jamiee Grubbs, New York city nightclub hostess Rachel Uchitel, and Las Vegas party planner Kalika Moquin, or more — it wouldn’t be a shock to learn there are even more women who have not yet come forward.

Once might be an accident. Three times is usually a habit.

A voicemail obtained by US MAGAZINE has been circulating the Internet:

“Hey, it’s Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that. Just have it as a number on the voicemail. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye.”

Can a couple move forward after one of them has an affair?

Only time will tell. The details of these alleged relationships are still coming to light, and it’s pretty obvious that Tiger and Elin will have a lot of challenges in putting their relationship back together if that’s what they choose to do. There are a couple of good signs early on — first, Tiger chose to protect his wife, instead of himself, when rumors were swirling around about the golf club/Escalade fiasco. Second, Yahoo Sports reports that the couple is now seeing a therapist several times a day and that Elin not only received an immediate $5 million dollar payout, she also gained somewhere in the neighborhood of $55 million dollars in a pre-nup revision. In exchange, she has to stick around for a couple more years and keep mum about her story.

Why stick around?

Maybe, just maybe, Elin wants to keep her family together. And maybe, just maybe, Tiger has had a wake-up call, and realizes all he’s been risking.

And if nothing else, $55 million and two young children is a pretty good incentive to give couples therapy a try.

For many people, cheating is a deal breaker. And the truth is, if they have any chance of getting through this, Tiger is going to have to own up to what he’s done with his wife and take responsibility for all of her hurt and anger around it.

And judging from his history, he might want to steer clear of nightclubs.