Today, I heard from a SECOND friend that his mom refused to have him over for Christmas Eve dinner because he wanted to bring his boyfriend. On grounds that it’s against the Bible. On Christmas. CHRISTMAS!
What is the calculation in a mother’s mind that says, “I’d rather be apart from my child on Christmas than to meet the man he’s sharing his life with?” What could be so powerful that it would neutralize the bond between mother and child? By what balance of scales do you choose an abstraction (“The Bible says homosexuality is wrong”) over flesh and blood (YOUR SON). Especially when he’s in his early 20′s.
It is a testament to the power of fear, hatred and ignorance that it can keep mother from child on the holy days. It’s like religion creates a kind of maternal amnesia–”Son? What son?” A close friend, who is deliriously happy in a committed relationship, wanted to bring his boyfriend home for the family’s traditional Christmas dinner. His boyfriend was not going home to his family so there was no way my friend was going to leave him alone on Christmas Eve.
Enter Mom. Or, rather, Exit Mom. He could come; but only alone. A condition she’d never impose on her other children. My friend stood his ground. He did not want to abandon his boyfriend on Chrismas Eve. So, instead, his mother abandoned him.
Why are parents so willing to pick the church over their child?
Because that’s what they’ve been taught to believe and not all families are willing to accept their gay children. Stinks, doesn’t it?
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:53 amThank you for writing this…I don’t undertsnd that thinking on the part of a mother, we are suppose to love unconditionally!
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:06 pmReligion has a strong hold on many folks, especially the less-educated ones, and it tells them they are pleasing God by standing their ground with their gay kids. Its so far off from the message Jesus spread when on earth (if you believe in the Bible) but it is a common teaching in Christianity. It cost me my entire family, not just on Christmas, but the whole year round.
December 23rd, 2009 at 2:21 pmI find it very interesting how some christians chose certain parts of the bible to live by and completely ignore other parts which teach love ,understanding and acceptance.
“Religion has a strong hold on many folks, especially the less-educated ones…….” This part of the above post is so very true…..but I do believe that the younger generation is much more tolerant and understanding and that gives me hope for the future.
December 27th, 2009 at 10:06 pmThe study “The Gender Belief System, Authoritarianism, Social Dominance Orientation, and Heterosexuals’ Attitudes Toward Lesbians and Gay Men” provides excellent answers to why heterosexual are prejudiced against gay people.
January 3rd, 2010 at 1:49 am