Mike Alvear's Urge & Merge

Are there hidden signs, give-away gestures that can tell you whether you’re going to have sex after a date?And more to the point, if the sex will be any good? I was having drinks with a few friends and we came up with some thoughts. Like, if you open the car door for your date and he doesn’t reach over to unlock your door it usually means he doesn’t like to give head.

We were joking, of course. There’s only one sign that accurately predicts how he’ll be in bed:

If a guy makes it a point to say he doesn’t have sex on the first date he’s going to blow you so hard your shoes are going to fly off. Anytime somebody insists on casting themselves in a morally superior position, they’re hiding their inner beast.

Still, I love the idea that how he acts on a date will predict how he’ll act in bed. Here’s a few thoughts I came up with. If he:

Gets in the car without opening the door for you: No foreplay.

Takes too long deciding what to order: Takes forever to cum.

Orders salad dressing on the side: Hand job but no fucking.

Gives explicit orders to waiter: Demanding top

Insists on ordering for you: Power bottom

Asks for “The Usual” when ordering drinks: Missionary position only.

Finishes eating before you do: Premature ejaculator

Insists on having some of whatever you ordered: Will hog the covers.

Changes mind after ordering: Won’t call you after the date.

Changes tables: Nymphomaniac

Sends food back: Won’t swallow

Asks for detailed descriptions of desserts: Wants you to talk dirty in bed

Answers cell phone at dinner: Pivot man at the orgy.

Wants to split dessert: Dying to move in with you.

Gets credit card refused: Dying to move in with you.

This entry was posted May. 21st, 2009 at 12:28 pm. It was tagged 1st date questions, ask questions, bad first date stories, can you tell what he'll be like in bed, conversation starters, date, date conversation, date conversation starters, Dating Advice, dating tips, first date, first date advice, first date conversation, first date good questions, first date love, first date questions, first date questions to, first date questions to ask, first date tips, first date topics, frist date questions, fun questions, get to know questions, interesting date questions, perfect first date, questions for first date, questions on a first date, questions on first date, questions to ask on a first date, what he'll be like, what will he be like, why are you single. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.