It wasn’t just the higher penis to vagina ratio that aroused guest blogger Susan Walsh. It was the passion.
I propose that straight men try watching gay porn for a change, so they can learn what women want. What, you don’t find that intuitively obvious? It actually makes perfect sense. I can explain. Research shows that online porn is the single largest source of sexual information for young men. They watch it alone, and they also watch it in groups with other guys as a bonding activity.
(What does a room full of straight guys do when they all have boners at 3pm? Just wondering.)
Recently I was researching an article about the role of porn as an influence on sexual behavior. After consulting the academic literature, I hung out on both straight and gay male porn sites for…well, for a while.
(It’s amazing how a whole day can just fly by when you’re enjoying your work!)
What I found on straight porn sites was pretty much what I expected, but I was astounded by what I saw in gay porn. Especially amazing was the contrast between the two. As a straight woman, I found the straight porn repulsive. It was unbearably phony and mechanical. It was also very demeaning to women in many cases. But the gay porn? It was arousing. I hadn’t expected that!
(I figured it had to be the higher penis to vagina ratio, i.e. infinite.)
I decided to spend more time, um, trying to figure it out.
(Whoa! There went Tuesday!)
Why does it matter what kind of porn guys watch?
Because currently, straight guys get a lot of their technique from straight porn.
(And that is not a good thing.)
Shouldn’t they just watch whatever gets them off? Yes, first they should watch whatever gets them off. Then they should switch over to gay porn to see what gets women off. Gay porn is definitely hotter, even to a straight woman, than straight porn. But why?
- KISSING
Kissing during sex is normal. And nice. Gay men kiss during sex. Straight porn has eliminated kissing almost entirely. Occasionally you’ll see the “porn kiss,” which is a reptilian touching of tongues with no lips. There seems to be an unspoken agreement between women and men to connect at the genitals, but never the face.
- PASSION
The gay pornos are generally more passionate. There are more videos that appear to be amateur, or maybe the gay guys are just much better actors. Actually, the gay guys are undoubtedly much better actors, but still, passion is rarely evident in straight porn. It’s all about the guy.
- CARESSING
The O is gonna be a hell of a lot better if there is some real touching and foreplay first. Gay men touch each other’s torsos and breasts quite a bit. Very few breasts get touched in straight flicks. They seem irrelevant. Just think of all the money wasted on those implants!
- VOCAL EXPRESSION
The gay men make completely normal and natural sounds, for the most part. A slight vocalization when something feels just right, a soft moan, is soooo much more interesting than a vocal freak show. Normal women do not squawk like seagulls during intercourse. Normal men don’t grunt “FUCK YEAH!” in a scary voice every time they come. The “dialog” in straight porn is ridiculous and embarrassing.
- ROLE EQUITY
The notion of gay men being either Pitcher or Catcher is a myth, at least in porn. They tend to take turns, or reciprocate. There is equality between the partners. In straight porn, the guy is usually some creepy character who is bossy and demeaning. The women usually play the role of a submissive, sex-starved character who wants nothing more than to please this stranger.
- EJACULATION NONSENSE
The face ejaculation is the straight porn flick money shot. The woman is usually pretending she desperately wants it, often using baby talk to beg for it. You see it in gay porn, but not that much. Gay men ejaculate wherever, as long as the camera can see it. It looks pleasurable for both parties.
From a woman’s perspective, guys are not going to learn anything useful from straight porn. In fact, the notion is downright frightening. If only we could find a way to tactfully suggest a walk on the wild side!
I’m not naïve enough to think there will be many guys who will take this advice. In fact, I’m sure most guys would find the idea too threatening and alien. And that makes sense. Because straight men are from Mars, but women and gay men are from Venus.
Can you be straight and do gay porn?
Is Porn Bad for You?
A flow chart that describes 90% of porn videos
Why do lesbians watch gay porn?
I laughed. I’m very glad that I grew up before widespread internet porn. Hugging, kissing, foreplay, caressing… yeah, without that sex is pretty boring, even for guys (or at least this guy).
But, ummm, no, I won’t be watching gay porn.
May 6th, 2009 at 4:47 amAs a gay man I could not be more excited by your blog. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE it if straight guys started watching gay porn. I think most of them would find it pretty sexy, or at least I hope they would
But either way I completely agree with your distinctions between heterosexual porn and gay porn. Of coarse we do have our share of nasty porn too, but you have to dig a little harder to find it.
Great post! I plant to share far and wide
May 11th, 2009 at 12:52 pmIan – I get that, but I’m glad to hear you value all the great stuff that comes before and after sex!
Sexpert Joe – I agree that straight guys would find gay porn sexy, and I think it would scare the crap out of them, haha. I’m glad you agree, tho – I’ve also heard from a lot of straight women who think gay porn is hot, so I do think there’s something to this theory!
May 11th, 2009 at 5:14 pmI highly doubt most straight men will take the advice of the author of this article. I think many straight men just find the idea of male homosexuality too repulsive. I’d be willing to bet that homophobic feelings would be too great to overcome. This applies to even the “gay friendly” straight males. Also the author of the article is missing the point. Straight porn is not about what straight women want. It is about straight men’s fantasies. It also designed to reinforce the view that women are sex objects, baby breeders, property, and inferior. However most straight men would not say that out loud. The actions of straight men tell a different story.
August 12th, 2009 at 8:31 pmAs a bisexual man who has seen more than his fair share of porn, both straight and gay, I have to say that I agree with this article. Straight porn only ever panders to the lowest common denominator, never shows any true sexual passion and for me at least 90% of it is quite a turn off because of the whole falseness of it all. On the other hand, in most (not all) gay porn the guys seem to have a lot more respect for one and other. They never have to fake sexual enjoyment or try to over act to push home the point that they are having sex. But most of all the men in gay porn are always much hotter than there straight counterparts. All these are reasons that I have all but stopped looking at straight porn. Gay porn shows a much more natural and realistic portrayal of lovemaking and even straight guys will learn a lot (and probably get turned) from it.
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