Stalking your ex-girlfriend, harassing her family and trash texting on Twitter like it’s your public Burn Book.
Either you’re using the Method approach to reprise Glenn Close’s role in “Fatal Attraction” or your definition of me-time is severely whack.
Uh, excuse me, Miss Lohan — may I call you Lindsay? You don’t know me, but it seems to me that you need a friend right about now; or maybe a compassionate third party to sit you down and tell it to you straight. Oh, sorry — I mean gayly forward.
We could go somewhere quiet to talk, away from the paps, West Hollywood and TMZ. Like Iowa. We’ll order up a couple of venti soy lattes, roll up our sleeves and work through this shit together.
So. Girl trouble, eh? I heard that you broke it off with Samantha because you want to focus on yourself. I respect that. But news from the Ronson camp is saying that you’re kinda sorta stalking your ex. Gate crashing private parties, harassing her family and trash texting on Twitter like it’s your public Burn Book. What about the alleged claims of drug use and cutting yourself? And now the threat of a restraining order? Either you’re using the Method approach to reprise Glenn Close’s role in a re-make of “Fatal Attraction” or your definition of me-time is severely whack.
Linds, here’s the thing: you’ve got commitment issues. And I’m not talking about talking about Sam. I’m talking about your inability to commit to yourself.
Now don’t put on your Jackie-O sunglasses and try to freeze me out; you need to hear this, young lady, so sit back down. I also heard that in a last ditch effort to win back Sam’s affections you have even offered to convert to Judaism for her. And while I think a strong wake up call from a Higher Power could do you some good, you can’t pursue her this way. Not by using religion as a strategy to hold on to something that’s trying to let go.
The path to spirituality should be traveled with a genuine desire to grow as an individual. You’re not opening yourself up to discover Judaism for what it can bring you. You want Judaism to help you get Sam back. This gesture to take up the Faith may seem like it’s motivated by love, but it could more likely be fueled by insecurity or fear. And how exactly will the act of conversion deepen a bond if you’re just going through the motions? Have you been getting advice from Tom Cruise again? Sweetie, what I’m trying to say is this: You can’t convert religions to please your girlfriend if your girlfriend IS your religion. Some might say that your devotion is crossing over to a cult-like obsession.
I believe that Sam brought out something in you. Apparently. I think she provided a safe place for you to escape from those media-whore parents and for once enjoy real companionship. But maybe it’s time for you to take some time and assess your journey up to this point. Do you really know what you want, really? Nearly every picture I see shows you walking ahead of Samantha. And I can’t tell whether she doesn’t want to keep up or whether you want to get away.
Well, I’m glad we could talk like this, Lindsay. Do me a favor, will ya? Get some alone time. Focus on you. Have a good cry and get some sleep. Stop running around so much, rent some Netflix and take the night off. Stop fucking around with drugs and do something meaningful, productive and stable with your life. Like acting.
Lindsay Lohan’s eHarmony profile
Mike -
This is the type of article that make me regret clicking the Read More button.
Do you 1) not understand the fact that these types of actions by ‘celebrities’ have no basis in reality, that they are just PR stunts? 2) understand that fact but are still happy to use it as fodder for your writing? 3) think so little of your readers that you think we CARE about this nonsense?
Guess what – we don’t care.
Take it as a challenge to come up with thought-provoking, interesting topics to write about. Don’t take the easy way out by seizing on every issue that includes the words ‘gay’ or ‘lesbian’ as a topic worth your time.
Do you really think that two people trying to explore a relationship would do so on display in public like this? No, but two insecure performers with high-paid PR people would.
After working in the celebrity business for 15 years, and with all my NDAs behind me, I could tell you stories about sex, life and love colliding that you truly would not believe – but I am afraid you might be compelled to write about them!
April 10th, 2009 at 12:09 pmTodd, I totally get your perspective. Yes, going after the Lindsay/Sam sham is an easy target. BUT, there is a message beyond the obvious veneer of this “celebrity” example to suggest that regular people who offer conditions, make compromises and bargain their way through relationships need to pause and consider their motives. Maybe that point is buried under the ‘wink-wink’ tone of what is a tabloid tale. And whether Linds and Sam are being spun by PR forces or not, that point is still valid.
April 10th, 2009 at 1:07 pm[...] Lindsay Lohan, are you taking advice from Tom Cruise again? [...]
April 18th, 2009 at 7:22 pmIt seems as if my treasured acting professional Tom Cruise is up to his old tricks again. He has a new motion picture coming out with Cameron Diaz and it looks like it’s going to be an excellent a single, I just truly enjoy Tom Cruise movies, I think he’s really good at these kinds of action films. This latest fillm is an action-comedy centered on a fugitive couple on a glamorous and occasionally lethal adventure where nothing and no one – even themselves – are what they seem. Amongst shifting alliances and dangerous betrayals, they race across the globe, with their survival ultimately hinging on the battle of truth vs . trust- I struggles to wait for this to come out.
June 8th, 2010 at 2:51 pmI think Tom Cruise is the best! He’s my hero , i worship him. i wish upon many stars to meet him someday. that would be A DREAM COME TRUE! Oh my God! i love you thomas cruise
September 14th, 2010 at 8:53 am