Mike Alvear's Urge & Merge

Today pornography has absolutely no effect on me whatsoever, except as a mild depressant over what’s obviously expected from me as a female these days — all the care and polishing involved with the breast implants, for example, or all the exacting topiary skills needed for uber-precise pube grooming and whatnot. It does a number on you, I swear.

I know what she means. Just like video lust can make women think less of their bust, it can make guys think less of their…

mess. I’m not talking about its effect on porn addicts (the consensus of addictionologists is that if you’re watching about 11 hours of porn a week you’re a porn addict)–I’m talking about just normal, every day viewing. Wow, did I just out myself as a porn addict?

Anyway, Hollis’ post made me think, is porn bad for you? Yes, but only in the same way men’s and women’s beauty magazines are bad for you– they make a Category 5 beauty level a de facto standard to compare yourself with, and you’re never going come close. Video porn or beauty mags– almost everyone in them is teeth-achingly beautiful.  Everyone but you, of course.   That feeling of inadequacy, of being surrounded by a level of beauty you’re not a part of, often feels like a rising atmospheric pressure–you can’t point to “it”, only to its barometer (the slight mist of depression/anxiety about your looks).

And just to put a fine point on how far magazines go to make even the beautiful more beautiful, click here to see Jezebel’s STUNNING expose of how Redbook photoshopped the already  beautiful Faith Hill).

Anyways, here’s the subconscious logic that plays out when you flip through a magazine or zip through the DVD:

* I only see beautiful people doing it or about to do it.
* I’m not beautiful
* I don’t deserve sex

Porn distorts the truth and subtly makes you ask, “Am I worthy of sex?” Every guy in almost every video looks like he’s hung like a rhino. Yet, condom makers report that only 6% of men need extra-large condoms. So if the only people you see having sex (and really, how many of us have a front row seat to the full-on sex of real couples?) are walking tripods, it’s only a matter of time before you look down from the screen to see what you’re holding in your hands.

Fortunately our horniness outweighs our misgivings. I, for one, am never going to stop watching porn. It’s too much fun, I learn too much and on unlucky nights, saves me from running up my bar tab.  Still, I have to constantly remind myself of something before Creeping Inadequacy takes hold: The camera puts 10 pounds on everything.