Tyra tackled a tickler last week:  Gay-for-pay  porn stars. My favorite parts of the show (vids below):

* Tyra grasping for the right way to ask the porn stud if he liked to be plowed like a mid-winter Minnesota freeway: “How do I say this on Daytime TV?” she said. “It’s Christmas Day.   Do you like to give presents or receive them?”

* Tyra helpfully defending the guy’s contention that he’d rather take it up the bum than service another guy: “When you’re the Christmas gift-giver, you have to be aroused to perform. To receive you don’t have to be!

Really, Tyra, maybe you are the next Oprah.

Public opinion to the show was predictable: Most people seem to think the straight sex workers were either closet case exhibitionists, money-hungry heteros or want-it-all versatiles. But are the only options gay, straight or bi?

How about “Buy-Sexual?”

Gay guys should understand that term better than anyone. We’ve been trading sex for a certain kind of currency since the beginning of time.  How many of us dated, sexed or married a woman because it would “buy” us entry into the groups we wanted to be part of? Like family, friends, church, work, or the military. We’ve been doing “Straight-for-stay” a lot longer than straights have been doing “Gay-for-pay.” Don’t let money blind you to the meaning of currency.

Part 2

Gay-for-pay says, “I have sex with men for money.” Straight-to-stay says, “I have sex with women for acceptance.” The currency might be different but the dynamic is not: Temporarily thwarting authentic desire for something valuable.

I’ve had sex with a few women yet if you pointed the Kinsey scale at me (can you point a scale?), Alfred himself would say, “Run!  It’s going to blow!”  If gays can get it up for a gender we’re not attracted to, why do we think straight guys can’t? Somebody’s being pounded by a double-standard dildo.

Part 3

The real–but plucked– eyebrow raiser in the show occurred when the nearly-married-with-kids guy said he’d rather bottom than top. On the face of it, it doesn’t make sense. Straight guys are almost universally repulsed by the thought of receiving anal sex from another man. Whether they end up with a guy out of necessity (say, jail) or out of desire (say, anywhere) there’s a standard macho defense: “I’m-not-gay-as-long-as-I’m-the-top.” But this guy didn’t go there. Though he was as insightful as a stopped clock (correct twice a day), I was intrigued by his contention that getting the dust pounded out of his rug HELPED him dissociate from the sexual experience. If he wasn’t all that sensitive down there (every now and again you find ports that can take first-class cargo without much trouble), then the rest is easy. All he’d have to do is:

* Position himself so that he’s not touching, kissing or even seeing his partner.

* Position himself to watch straight porn as it’s happening.

* Fantasize it’s his fiancé inserting a toy.

I mean, once you get past the act itself (and I admit, it’s a lot to get past) there’s no difference between gay-for-pay and straight-to-say. Fantasy is the great enabler. If gay men can use it to get past sessions with women, why wouldn’t straight guys be able to get past theirs with men? What’s between your ears is more powerful than what’s between your legs, even if someone’s got them pinned to your shoulders.

What isn’t easily defined is easily dismissed.  The closest most of us can come to understanding the phenomenon of straight guys having gay sex is to say they’re bi-sexual.  It’s hard to see that they’re in fact, buy-sexual.

Part 4

Part 5